I made up this line when I was writing a story for a friend for her birthday. Never did finish that story and it felt right to recycle the line for today. Bad bad day. Of course, right now, I have the luxury of plonking myself on my bed, and letting the day pass in making pointless posts but I wonder how I’ll deal with it when I have terrible work hours. Ah well, crossing that bridge as and when it gets here.

Actually, the whole crossing the bridge metaphor seems to cling to a lot of my life at the moment. Thinking about last year in college, future work related shenanigans of paper work and permits and what not, have I mentioned – last year in college?

I know.. I know… no need to be over the top melodramatic about it. But I’d hate it, if I don’t give it all the importance it deserves. If I just let it pass by. The way I did for example my teenage years, which apparently were supposed to be the most tumultuous period of my life. Except for nerding over my school work, sadly I have nothing much to show for them either.

ah well…last year in college…what would be a sadder way to mark it than erratic pointless posts?

December is still too far. I wish it would come soon.

l tried to do interesting yet totally useless things these vacations. For example, I can now successfully colour my hair purple on photoshop.  I can also state that I am American (which I am not) and ask a girl out for a drink in a hotel (which I am not particularly interested in doing) in Japanese.  Of course, the coolest non goal that I achieve will be the one that I don’t tell anyone about.

In a wisdom dawned on her moment, I’ve come to realize how sad it is that all of life’s moment’s have been reduced to the simple question of ‘is it facebook worthy or not?’ There was a point where going to a place, eating a new dish, hanging out with friends, my bloody homework was in danger of being photoshopped to look nice on facebook…just thinking about it is depressing…maybe I should put it up as my status message, ney?

So yes getting back to the non point, I am going to achieve some awesome non-goals that only I and Only Me will know about (do not point out the faulty logic of telling you about not telling you about it in the first place). All you need to know…is that it will be Brilliant…this utterly useless and unimportant thing I achieve!

And I have all the time in the world to do it…fifth year…final year in college is strange. I do not like it much…I think it’s still too early in the day to get all weepy and sentimental and see everything with extra rosy glasses and yet it’s late enough that the inevitability of it all is damnably inescapable.

Which is one of the main reasons, I find myself blogging here again…I am one of those people, who if they kick a stone on a road will ensure that the stone gets kicked back to a nice new corner with other stones or at least off the middle of the road. (yes yes, you are totally not being decieved …i feel bad abandoning a stone that got kicked out of its proper place in the universe because of my whim) Anyway, the point being that I started this blog way back ~ just before I got into law school~ and I can’t seem to fully abandon this rather shoddy work which is perpetually in progress till I haul myself out of this place.

anything and everything must be blamed on sleep deprivation…only exceptions being my general weirdness.

“Knock of the extra pound without knocking off pounds(Dollars or rupees)!”

Ah! Gym Humour…you crack me up!

“Each at times conceals his strength beneath ordinary clothing but after removing his cloak stand revealed in full panoply in skintight acrobatic costume.”

Extract from a 1940 case Detective Comics v. Bruns Publications, showing the striking similarities between the characters of Superman and Wonderman.

You can just imagine the judge who wrote that opinion constructing that sentence, filling it up with words like ‘panoply’, ‘skintight’ etc and thinking severely, ‘In all seriousness, after all, both of them do wear tights!’

I really must learn to differentiate note taking from the inner workings of my warped brain.

Question : Does the chairman’s speech need to be published in the newspaper?

Hints: No.

Taxmann’s way, I am guessing, of saying that the answer is ‘duh’!

Anyways here’s a hot tip for any wannabe I-wanna-shut-myself-up-in-my-room-and-study-study-study person!

Wear really terrible clothes. That’s right. Remember those bright blue pajama bottoms inexplicably depicting bowls of yellow custard? And that terrible orange top that your aunt got you for last diwali out of some familial guilt? Wear that.

Now sit down to study. Five minutes later when you are itching to go outside to take a walk around campus, you’ll glance at what you are wearing and groan at the thought of changing!

Now it’s possible of course that you will actually change but if you’re the average wannabe for whom procrastination is a reflexive trait you’ll just sigh dramatically and go plop back in your seat because it’s way too much trouble!

In fact though I haven’t done the math on this… if you can find something truly horrendous to wear, you’ll even cut down on the time you take to visit the bathroom situated bang in the middle of your floor. You’ll probably dash to and from the bathroom because imagine the horror if one of your juniours saw you in your govinda’esque do! And now that I think of it! all that dashing around will probably give you some much needed exercise. Woah…excuse me while I stop to ponder the sheer brilliance of my idea…

I know I know…I definitely need to get out of my room…if only I wasn’t wearing bright blue pajamas inexplicably covered in…

I am not sure however as to what would be the verbal equivalent of this. Dunno if sarcasm counts….though I know there is some quote out there that says sarcasm is the lowest form of wit . Or could it be the ‘jellyfish effect’ that’s described in bridget jones’ diary wherein someone insults you in such a manner, that it’s always a moment too late from the sinking in of the insult for you to come up with an appropriate response?

Maybe it’s downright politeness. Oscar Wilde says being nice to your enemies is singularly the best way to annoy them. Just be polite…say Hello!, point out in a polite and even more apologetic manner how they are all together wrong and stupid but really you would be most happy to help. To end with a flourish, wish them a good time and inquire about their well being.

Why do I have a feeling that this post may potentially backfire?

Went to the bookstore a few days back –looking for a belated birthday present for a friend. Spent about four hours there- pulling out books, skimming through the back cover writing, and putting them back. I wonder if it would be possible to have a tea taster type person for books. She would pick a book up, sift through the pages and with elegant precision describe the literary quotient of the book. Not like a critic you understand, but in a rational analytical way.

I’ve been peppering all my applications with words like that- rational… analytical…innovative…team player…leader and other related bla. Making up random questions in my head for interviews:

Question: So why did you take up Outer Space Law?

Answer: to appease the ten year old in me who dreamed of being an astronaut.

So I have been filling up applications, giving real and otherwise interviews, and building up what looked like a standard melancholic post…that is until…

I got my first offer for a pseudo sort of maybe job in faraway lands which made everything suddenly seem brighter and clearer for the briefest of moments.

Oh yes, as a ten year old I wanted to be an astronaut…unfortunately it was based not on my all consuming passion for astrophysics but on some vague notion that I’d get to meet new beings and travel like never before.

Weird, how life has a way of working out.

Now this isn’t so much famous last words…though it would be kinda sucky if you’re Einstein and your last words are to a non German nurse (dunno the veracity of the trivia …though I do have the mental image of the nurse asking “professor can we try that again, this time preferably in English?) or  Saki who apparently was telling a fellow soldier to “Put that bloody cigarette out!”

No no this has more to do with what you are thinking. Sure sure if you’re on the whole reincarnation or peace afterwards or end of tunnel I see shiny bright lights school of thought this might not matter much. But for me it has more to do with exerting some sort of pseudo control over your last moments. Like the way some tell their family what to do with their bodies afterwards.

So…if I were dying…I’d want to pre determine what I’m thinking or seeing…and that’s where the hallucination comes up. What if we could pick a thought or image to automatically fill our heads in our last moments.  Think about it – there’d be complete industries built around this business. There could be psychological brain tricking techniques being taught where you could get to fix your “happy thoughts” in a moment’s notice. Of course there’s be problems with it – especially in sudden say accidental deaths where you don’t even get a chance to say “wtf” let alone find your centres.

There could be other stuff too. Pre programmed chips that kick in the moment you’re dying. Can’t you see the adverts on this one? “Fill your head with a tropical paradise or 32 other such soothing images. Switch to our “more power to you” program and get to make your own images!!!”

And ooh think of all the hoopla over this one. There’d be protest by religious groups, bawling relatives, death god fanatics and what not! There’d be law suits for stuff like malfunctioning programs and illegal usage of celebrity photographs for a dying man’s fantasy.

I know…it isn’t the most novel of ideas. Stuff like vanilla sky has already squeezed every bit of science fiction drama out of dying. Still I can’t help thinking “who says there can’t be a happily ever after? The way to go would be to hallucinate.”