I watch them as they troop in, a bunch of assorted girls…laughing and talking, oblivious to the world around them…not quite but almost …one catches my eye…a recognition based perfunctory smile, and her head swivels back to listen to the words dripping out of her companions’ lips.
They head for the free bunch of seats – five in all, perfect for the five of them to sit together…doesn’t matter that they suck as far as seating goes…that they have to crane their necks in full 180 angles to see even an inch of the screen. There are better seats, but for them to sit there…they would have separate… sit in different places…interspersed with the loners like me and ah, that would be impossible. So they come and ask…would you mind moving to your right or left or back or front?, and sometimes I oblige…hating it when they sit there together, basking in their companionship, while I sit at the relegated designated corner…and sometimes I don’t, I say no and then I see them move away and sit somewhere uncomfortable because it’s too much to have me in the middle – kabab ki hadi or something akin…so they’ll sit there and crane their necks and cramp their backs and I’ll gloat and feel cynical about the entire thing…dumb arses, feeble minded, no source of individualism…sheep mentality bla bla shit.
But while I sit and gloat… I feel awful you know…bloody awful…as to why am I always relegated…am I boring? perhaps too mean and rude? too sarcastic? Crappy? Grumpy? Don’t know …don’t think so either, but I can’t help wondering you know, feeling goddamn awful as to why I can’t be part of that…that bla bla shit.
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Yes, I know I’m being melodramatic! Yes, it’s an outcome of a shitty afternoon.
